Your femininity is so much more than your sexual desire. But if you’re looking for ways to nurture your libido so you can get greater joy and fulfillment from your intimate encounters, here’s what you should know about the female sex drive
Women Are From Venus
Remember that old game called “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus?” Though the phrase has been used so often that it’s sort of cliché, it still bears a lot of truth. Though men and women aren’t physically from different planets, when it comes to sex, we couldn’t be more different.
Many men are ready to get it on at any moment and don't typically need a lot of coaxing. However, many women need the right environment, the right sweet talk, and the right foreplay before they can really get into it. This is especially true if they're busy. Women are less likely to drop everything and hop into bed than men are.
Deciphering a “Healthy” Sex Drive
When it comes to figuring out whether or not your sex drive is "normal," try not to compare yourself to others. There is room in this world for all types of sex drives, from getting it on multiple times a week to once or twice a month. As long as you and your partner are happy and satisfied, then it's safe to say you have a "healthy" sex life.
But if you’re like many women who feel their libido waning over time, you deserve to know what action you can take to improve things. So, here are a few indications that you may want to take steps to improve your sexual desire:
Difficulty finding pleasure in sexual encounters
Few or no thoughts about sexuality
Little interest in sexual activity (no matter how long it’s been since you’ve had sex)
Lack of pleasure from genital stimulation
These symptoms are more common than you may think, but that doesn’t make them healthy. Sex is an important part of intimate relationships and can help you and your partner become closer. Lack of sex may not bother you, but it could cause issues in the relationship if your partner has a higher sex drive.
Underlying Causes for Declining Libido
When dealing with a low sex drive, the last thing you should do is come down hard on yourself. You’re probably dealing with some underlying issues that affect your sexual desire. Here are a few common underlying causes for declining libido:
Age: Women are more likely to experience a decline in sex hormones when they approach and go through menopause.
Hormone imbalance. A hormone imbalance can impact many areas of your life, including your sexuality.
Surgery: Especially,any type of surgery involving your genital tract or breasts can impact your sexual function and desire.
Low self-esteem: If you don’t feel good about the way you look, you may have trouble becoming aroused and letting go of your inhibitions.
Lifestyle habits: Things like drinking too much alcohol can have a dulling impact on your sexual desire.
Sexual problems: If you can’t orgasm or if sex causes you pain, you’re more likely to avoid it.
Medications: Certain medications can lower sex drive, including antidepressants.
Fatigue: If your day is chock-full of tiring responsibilities, such as taking care of an infant or working overtime, you may find that you simply don’t have the energy for sex.
Medical diseases: High blood pressure, arthritis, coronary artery disease, and other diseases can lower your sexual desire.
Pregnancy: This is a big cause of decreased libido. Your hormones change significantly during pregnancy, and you're more likely to feel uncomfortable in your own body. Pregnancy is a roller coaster of hormones, though, so don't be surprised if you go from feeling extra frisky and flirtatious one moment to not wanting to be touched the next.
Trauma/PTSD: With an alarming number of women being victims of sexual assault, future sexual encounters, even with a safe partner, can be triggering. If you are a woman who wants to have a healthy sex life but still deals with unresolved trauma, give yourself some grace and realize you are not alone.
Another common cause of low libido is abuse from your significant other. If you feel verbally, emotionally, physically, or sexually abused, it’s little wonder your libido takes a nosedive. It’s important to get yourself out of abusive situations for the sake of your physical, mental, and emotional health.
How To Improve Your Sex Drive
If you want to improve your sex drive, there are several things you can try. In addition to consulting with your doctor if you have a serious disease or condition that’s causing your libido to tank, here are some lifestyle changes you can make for the sake of your sexual health.
Get healthy. You don’t have to look like a model to enjoy sex. But if you’re actively working out and eating healthy food, you’ll have more energy and more confidence. Both of these things lead to better sex.
Reduce your stress. Getting excess stress out of your life is a very effective libido-booster. Try it and see for yourself!
Build healthy relationships. If you’re in a relationship with someone who treats you well and doesn’t have unrealistic sexual expectations, you’re much more likely to desire them both sexually and emotionally.
Girl, you have what it takes to be a sex goddess. You may just need a little help getting there. Try the lifestyle changes above to become more confident in the bedroom.
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