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Why Do I Have a Low Sex Drive?

Many of us wonder what causes low sex drive in women. Learn more about this condition, why it’s normal, and how to move forward in your relationship. 


Sex is one of the most pleasurable experiences you can have with another person. It should be exciting, fun, and fulfilling. But what if none of these things describe your sex life lately? Is there something wrong with you? It’s normal to have questions like this when you’re experiencing low sexual desire. But you’re not alone, girl, and you’re certainly not abnormal. 


The female sex drive can be just as varied and complicated as our monthly cycles. It’s normal to have peaks and valleys when it comes to our libido. If lack of sexual desire is bothering you or taking a toll on your self-confidence, it’s important to understand what causes low sex drive in women. Then, you can take action to improve your sex life like the empowered woman you are. 


Improving your sexual drive may be as simple as taking a supplement (Herlove is a great option!) or as complicated as receiving sex therapy. But any step you take to boost your sexual health will be worth it in the long run. 


Why Do I Have Low Libido?


Let’s dive right in and talk about possible causes of low libido in women. If you’re wondering why you have low sexual desire, any of the following possible causes could be to blame:


  • Medical conditions: Vaginal dryness, urinary incontinence, high blood pressure, or diminished blood flow to the vagina can all impact sexual activity. 
  • Mental health disorders: Anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders can make it hard to achieve sexual arousal. 
  • Hormonal imbalance: Low testosterone in men can contribute to erectile dysfunction, while women with imbalanced sex hormone levels may experience a loss of sexual interest.
  • Age: Premenopausal women, menopausal women, and postmenopausal women may all experience reduced libido as part of their changing hormone levels.
  • Hypoactive sexual desire disorder or female sexual dysfunction: These conditions make it difficult to perform sexually or enjoy any measure of sexual satisfaction. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder is one of the most common sexual problems. 
  • Fatigue: If you’re tired, you probably don’t feel like doing anything (especially an activity that requires you to physically assert yourself when you’d rather use your bed for sleeping). 
  • Medications: Some medications are known to cause low desire. They include some blood pressure medications, anti-depressants, and birth control pills. 
  • Relationship issues: If your sexual partner is mistreating you or if you’ve had a fight, it’s no wonder that you have low sexual desire! Resolving the underlying relationship issues may help improve your sexual intimacy. 
  • Stress: Everyone lives with some degree of stress, but too much of it can kill your sex drive. Chronic high stress can have a detrimental impact on relationships. If you can’t get rid of excess stress in your life, you should at least try to learn stress management techniques so the ongoing tension doesn’t ruin your health and destroy your sex life. 

Other potential causes of decreased sex drive include a lack of self-confidence or a history of painful sex. Us ladies need to be able to identify low sex drive causes and help options available to us (such as lifestyle changes, supplementation, and hormone therapy). 


Why Is Low Sexual Desire so Common in Women?


Low sexual desire can put a huge damper on intimate relationships. Unfortunately, it’s a very common problem for women. An estimated one in three women between the ages of 18 and 59 experience low libido at some point (and often at multiple points) in their lives. 


In addition to straining physical relationships with intimate partners, a low sex drive can also cause women to feel like we’re missing out on the sexual pleasure and satisfaction we should be experiencing. It’s normal to feel like our situation is unfair if we don’t enjoy our sexual encounters. 


Low libido impacts both sexes, but women are more likely to experience it. This could be because our hormones fluctuate so much throughout our lives. It could also be because women are highly sensitive to unresolved conflicts, relationship issues, and lack of communication. When we’re feeling hurt or resentful, it’s pretty hard for us to experience arousal with the person who’s responsible for our trust issues. 


Many of us ladies also take birth control, which can wreak havoc on our sex drive. Though birth control serves an important function in family planning, it may be worth looking into alternative brands if the one you’re taking now is causing symptoms of sexual dysfunction. 


How Does Sex Drive Decrease Over Time?


Sex drive tends to decrease over time in both men and women. As we age, our bodies produce fewer sex hormones. For men, this means testosterone levels drop and libido tends to follow. For women, sexual stimulation and arousal may become more difficult as our progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone levels drop. Here’s what most of us can expect to happen to our libido as we age.


The Passionate 20s


When you’re in your 20s, your body is fertile, limber, and ready to blow off excess energy in the form of sexual acrobatics. If you’re in a healthy intimate relationship while in your 20s, you probably have no problem with arousal or libido. Sexual thoughts may be frequent during this period of life. You can rest assured that members of the opposite sex who are the same age as you are also having plenty of sexual fantasies. 


The Busy 30s


Most men continue to have a strong sex drive through their 30s and into their early 40s. By the time they reach age 35, though, their testosterone does start to decrease by approximately 1% each year. 


For women, the 30s are generally a busy time. We’re typically either solidifying our careers or popping out babies (or both!) But despite how busy we are, some of us may experience increased sexual desire during our 30s and early 40s. If we don’t, that’s OK! Many women experience a natural decrease in sex drive (which is no surprise, considering all the responsibilities we have on our plates!) A variety of external and internal factors can impact our libido during this stage of our lives. 


The Perimenopausal 40s and Beyond


In our 40s, we’re approaching menopause and our hormones are changing. These changes will intensify until we go through menopause and our bodies are no longer capable of bearing children. It makes sense that this huge disruption in hormones can also cause a huge disruption in our sexual desire. 


Can I Naturally Regain My Normal Sex Drive?


If you’re wondering how to naturally regain your sex drive or at least boost it a little, there are some things you can do. Here are suggestions for change that you may want to implement today. 


  • Get proper stimulation before sexual activity. Women typically need more foreplay than men to prepare our minds and bodies for intercourse. Adequate sexual stimulation is essential for enjoying the sexual experience. Don’t be afraid to coach your partner on how to get you “primed” for a great experience in bed. 
  • Get treatment for sexual dysfunction. If you’re unable to participate in sexual activity the way you would like to, it may be time to talk to a sex therapist. 
  • Use lubricants to help you enjoy intimacy and experience improved sexual function. 
  • Take libido-boosting supplements such as Herlove to naturally increase your sexual desire. 

Want more suggestions for improving your sexuality and other aspects of your life? Take a look at Mixhers Resources. You’ll find valuable information created especially for women, by women.